Touch
by spendeonswithyou
Summary: Three times Bellamy holds Clarke's hand but breakes the contact immediately, and one time he doesn't. One-shot, post 2x16.


**Hi! So it's my birthday and the best way to spend this day is to write Bellarke fanfiction till 1 AM, of course! :D I'm not sure if I like the way it turned out, it's my first 3+1 fic. Anyway, enjoy!**

 **i.**

At first it is just a small shape of a human at the edge of the forest. It is almost unnoticable and he doesn't pay attention to it. Although, when the figure gets closer, he starts wondering. Is it a Grounder? Someone from Lexa's tribe? And, in a millisecond, thousands of "What if…"s start crossing his mind.

It takes him few seconds to notice the blond hair and soon the person starts to remind him of someone. The figure is so familiar… Suddently the realization hits him - it's Clarke. She came back.

When she gets closer, he notices that she's limping, leaving bloody traces after her.

"Oh my God" he murmurs at the sight of it, and then he starts running towards her.

He gets there in a few seconds.

"Clarke?" he looks at her. There is a gaping hole in her leg, her pants are ripped around her knee and, even though he is not good at this kind of stuff, he can tell that it is really bad.

"Bellamy?" her voice is weak and he is sure she did not use it in the past two weeks since she has left the camp. Immediately, he wraps his arm around her waist to help her stand. To be more stable, he takes her hand into his.

"Let's get you back to the camp, okay?" he says. "What happened?"

"I was attacked by an animal. I tried to heal the wound by myself, but I had nothing except from water and an old jacket and that was not enough, so it kept reopening. The leg is probably infected by now" she explains.

"Then I guess we should take care of it."

They reach the camp after a moment. The first person they see is Miller. He looks at them, not believing in what he sees.

"Bellamy? Clarke? What-" he starts, but Bellamy cuts him off.

"Tell Abby to go to the med bay" he tells him shortly, as he leads Clarke to this place. He can see that she is weak and probably sleep deprived, considering the bags under her eyes. Actually, it looks like she could pass out in any second - but she doesn't, somehow.

When he lays her on a makeshift bed, he notices, that their hands are still connected. Then Abby rushes into the room and he breakes the contact.

 **ii.**

He comes back to the med bay to check on her after the lunch. She is asleep (or maybe unconscious, it's possible). Abby informed him that everything is sorted out for now. The leg needed cauterizing and stiching up, but right now it's okay. As Clarke suspected, it is infected and she will probably be fewerish for some time, but that was nothing really dangerous.

When he looks at her sleeping figure, he realizes how much he missed her since she has been gone. She lookes so fragile as she lays there, her skin pale and covered in multiple cuts and bruises, her hair knotted up completely. Yet he can't help thinking that she is somehow the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.

He knees beside the makeshift bed and looks at her closely. When she was asleep, she looked a little bit less worried, calmer. Like she did not have to carry the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. He wonders how she coped with all of this, the Mount Weather and all of their decisions. He knows it broke her almost completely - because it broke him too. Killing so many people… that's something no one should aim for. Maybe it was the right thing to do, but it didn't help the fact that they basically murdered hundreds of innocent people.

He is not sure how, but soon he realizes, that he is holding her hand. It is so small and so cold, and he just can't help brushing his tumb over her palm a few times.

He sits there in silence for a few minutes and suddenly Clarke starts to move. He takes his hand back, and then she opens her eyes.

"Where… where am I?" she asks, looking around.

"In the med bay" he answers. "It looks quiet different, doesn't it?"

"It does" she admits. "You did good here, took care of everything. Thank you, Bellamy."

"There is nothing to thank me for. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine" she says quietly, though she definitely does not sound like "fine". He wants to say something, but then someone comes into the tent.

"Clarke? Are you okay?" says Abby, running to her daughter.

"I will probably just go" Bellamy says, leaving the med bay.

 **iii.**

A short, quiet scream wakes him up in the middle of the night. He immediately sits up and looks around. Soon, he identifies the sound - it was coming from Clarke's tent, which is situated right next to his. But why would she scream?…

He decides to go and check on her, just in case if something was happening. He leaves his tent and enters hers.

"Clarke? Is everything alright?" he asks gently, as he looks around the tent.

"Yeah…" he hears a quiet response. That's when he notices her, sitting on a blanket, hugging her knees with her arms, her head laying on her legs. He can see her body shaking a little and it is obvious that she is crying. He knows that it's definitely not alright and that he should stay with her for a while.

He comes closer and sits next to her, as he wraps her in a tight hug, his hands stroking her back gently. She responds by throwing her arms around him and hiding her face in the crook of his neck. And he just holds her in silence as she sobs. He does not try to ask her what happened, because he knows that if she'd want to tell him about it, she would.

"Hey, it's okay…" he whispers, stroking her hair gently.

"It's not" she says quietly, as she pulls away from him a little. "It never stops, the nightmares… I keep seeing all of them, you know? The people I killed. Grounders, Finn, Mountain Man… It never leaves me alone."

"You are not alone in this, remeber? We did it together, we carry the burden together. Don't blame yourself, okay?" he squeezes her hand, as if he wanted to reasure he that it's going to be alright. Clarke sighs.

"Thank you, Bellamy. For being here for me" she says. "I guess you can go now."

"You sure you'll be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

He realizes that he is holding her hand, but he immediately lets it go and stands up.

"See you in the morning, then" he says, leaving her tent.

 **+i.**

"Hey" he says, as he sits next to her.

"Hi."

The light from the flames in front of them makes her look even more beautiful and he barely can tore his gaze off her. Today they made a campfire. It is a warm night and the sky above them is covered with billions of little lights, all of them creating a breathtaking view.

"How have you been lately?" he asks, not sure if he is reffering to her leg or to the nightmares.

"Better, I guess. Not perfect, but better" she responds, looking at the fire.

The heat feels nice on his skin. It is not blowing right at his face, and he can feel the light touch of its warm.

"That's good."

"Yeah. It's a nice night, isn't it? I like campfires."

"It is" he agrees.

There are many people around, talking and laughing and just enjoying their time together. He could've be with someone else right now, but when heis sitting next to Clarke, he can feel that it is the only place he wanted to be at.

He takes her hand, tangling his fingers around her. It is a small gesture, yet it means everything to both of them. And, this time, he does not break the contact.

"We'll figure it all out, okay?" he says to her.

"Together" she lays her head on his arm. He enjoys her warm, the fact that their hands fit perfectly together, that her head seems to be meant to lay on his shoulder.

"I love you" he says suddenly, his voice low and quiet, and even though his own words surprise even him, he knows that they are true. Clarke remaines silent for a few seconds and he starts to worry if he just destroyed everything with this confession, but then she breakes the silence.

"I love you too" she whispers.

And, as they sit there together, staring at the flames and just enjoying each other's company, he realizes that everything is going to be okay, as long as they have each other. And nothing is going to change that.


End file.
